Wednesday 27 June 2012

Risky Buisiness

I went through a large range of emotions yesterday. Perhaps you'll be able to pick them out.


I awoke this morning feeling quite peaceful, until I remembered the task at hand. Then the butterflies began fluttering again. The same thoughts flowed endlessly through my mind: What if he hates me? What if I've missed my opportunity? Of course, there's no use worrying over the inevitable, so I set out to find Sky. I immediately realized I had no idea where I could find him. The only person I could think of who would know was Nicely Nicely Johnson. Nicely told me he saw Sky earlier at a cafe called Artigiano on Broadway and I went there at once. 


I walked in and saw Sky sitting alone at a table in the corner. I felt my stomach squirm, but I knew I had to keep going. I walked over and sat down. He seemed quite surprised to see me, but he didn't say anything.
I began by telling him I was sorry. I said that I had realized it was wrong for me to simply assume he was behind the crap game in the Mission. He was resentful at first, but he soon understood that I meant what I said. When I finally brought myself to tell him that I really do love him, rather than saying he did or did not return my feelings, he apologized. He apologized for making the bet.

He wanted to explain it from the beginning, so I will as well. Nathan was having trouble finding a location for his crap game, but Joey Biltmore offered him his garage for the price of one thousand dollars. Nathan did not have a thousand dollars to give Mr. Biltmore, so he made a bet with Sky that he could not take me to Havana. Sky could not pass up a bet, so he accepted. He told me, "At first it was just a bet, but I found myself feeling something more for you. I genuinely care for you, and I'm sorry." I simply smiled at this, but on the inside my mind was reeling.

We left the cafe and walked hand in hand down Broadway. It didn't have to be said, but it was understood. Sky Masterson and Sarah Brown are going steady.


Lots of love,
-Miss Brown

Tuesday 26 June 2012

Butterflies

I've heard the expression "butterflies in your stomach" but never before have I experienced it myself. Until now, that is. All I can think about is how Sky may react to what I have to say. What if he's angry because my emotions are all over the place? What if he thinks I'm silly and won't ever be with me? These scenarios scare me. I had my fair share of loss when I was a young girl, and since then I have always run from it. I suppose taking risks is just another part of life.

All the best,
-Miss Brown

Sunday 24 June 2012

At Wanemaker's and Sak's and Klein's

The Mission has been full of people lately. A few people stopped coming, but a few started as well. I feel as though we are truly helping people find God. Of course, everyone's beliefs are slightly different, but I have faith that God can help anyone find their way, no matter what.
 

I bumped into Miss Adelaide again today. At first I did not recognize her, but we started a conversation and I remembered. It seems her engagement, which had her so happy a few days ago, had been broken. She seemed absolutely heartbroken. I tried to comfort her, but I had no luck. She was too distraught about wasting fourteen years with this man, and what she would tell her mother. Her pain reminded me of my own, and I'm embarrassed to say that I began to cry. She gave me a hug, which was comforting. 
We were pondering whether men could ever change when I pointed out that the gamblers at our prayer meeting acted like they could change. At this news, Adelaide jumped up and asked if a man named Nathan Detroit was there. We was, of course, so I told her so. I will never forget her response to this. She said, "That dirty rat! Just when he should've been lying, he's telling the truth!" How amusing. I think she and I will become good friends! 
She then had an idea. Why not marry the man today? Rather than sigh and sorrow, simply marry him today and change his ways tomorrow. Her explanation was, "At Wanamaker's and Sak's and Klein's, you can't get alterations on a dress you haven't bought!" 
Of course, she's right. A man won't be willing to change without commitment. Adelaide and I are confident that we can get Nathan and Sky on the right track. We have decided that in three days' time, we will talk to them and apologize for severing our relationships. I'm nervous. What if he hates me? What if he doesn't want to go steady with me? I will pray that is not the case.


Wish me luck,
-Miss Brown

Monday 18 June 2012

A Quick Message...

Since the meeting, our success at the Mission has greatly increased. Some of the gamblers seem so have spread the word, and some have even come back for advice! We have had many men and women seeking God come to us in the past three or four days. I won't mention names of course, as I'm sure they would prefer that information remain private, but I'm very inspired by their courage. 

Martha has told me some wonderful news. She and her beau have gotten engaged and the wedding is in December! I'm ever so happy for them, but now I feel like one of those typical women in films who are always moping about being reminded of how painfully single they are, and how the man they love does not return their feelings. Oh, how I don't want to be one of those women! Especially when "the man I love" happens to be Sky Masterson. Ah, well, I'll try to focus on the Mission and being happy for Martha. 

All the best,
-Miss Brown

Friday 15 June 2012

What happened at Midnight?

As you all know, yesterday was our special midnight prayer meeting. At first, things seemed grim. Calvina, Agatha, Martha, Auntie an I were all present, along with the General, but no one else came. It was half past twelve when we decided it would be best to call off the meeting and, to my dismay, close the Mission. 

 It was at that very moment that something amazing happened. Thirteen men walked through our front door and sat in the chairs arranged in a circle. Bringing up the rear was, you guessed it, Sky Masterson. I suppose he is a man of his word after all. He made sure everyone had made their appearance, but he promptly said he had a flight to catch and wished us good luck. The General couldn't have been more impressed, and I thanked God - and Sky - silently.

One man, I believe he was the infamous Nathan Detroit, seemed to be in charge of the twelve gamblers. He prompted a few men to make their testimonies. They were hesitant, but I was surprised at their stories and how they actually seemed willing to change. A man named Nicely Nicely Johnson was the first to come forward and really confess to his sins. He spoke of a dream he'd had, in which he was on the boat to heaven. He offered the passengers to gamble and drink with him. He said the consequences of his sins caused him to fall overboard and begin to drown. I think this is a beautiful metaphor for the course sinful actions can take you on. I am hopeful we can reach other sinners like this man. 

Nathan Detroit also testified. He began by admitting that he used the Mission to host his crap game. He then admitted that he had bet a certain guy one thousand dollars he couldn't take a certain doll to Havana. (Sound familiar?) He was going to use the money to rent the Biltmore garage and have the game. He won the bet, so now he can rent it, but, as he told us, he's not so sure he wants to finish the game. 

Now, I have no idea why he wouldn't want to finish the game, (perhaps a crisis of faith?)but let's go back to the part when he mentioned he had won the bet. This must have been the same bet Sky told me about, but he won that bet. The only explanation is that Sky told Mr. Detroit he hadn't managed to bring me to Cuba. Perhaps Sky is not as disrespectful as I had assumed. Perhaps he really did love me. No use getting my hopes up, however. I doubt I could handle another disappointment. 

Sincerely, 
-Miss Brown

Thursday 14 June 2012

A Memory

The meeting is tonight, and I'm beginning to worry. The General is expecting an excellent performance, and twelve sinners. I have ideas planned, but I still have no way of convincing anyone to come. Obviously, the Havana fiasco has left me wondering about many things, one of them being if Sky will keep to his word. I doubt it.


Speaking of Sky, there is something I seem to have forgotten to mention. The memories are a bit hazy, but I remember something he said in Havana. We were arguing. I didn't want to go back to New York, but he thought it was for the best. He became frustrated and exclaimed, "The only reason I took you to Havana was because I made a bet!" Or words to that effect. At the time, I pushed this comment aside, without realizing the significance of it. I remember, to my embarrassment, I said something like "How else would a girl meet a gambler?" How absolutely silly! It makes sense now, however. One of the other gamblers bet Sky money that he couldn't take me to Cuba as a way to get me away from the city. So, obviously, he did, and when we returned the crap game was being held in our Mission! He may not have been a part of that particular scheme, but leading a woman on, just for money, is just as bad!


I must prepare for the meeting now. I will write about it tomorrow afternoon.


Wish me luck,
-Miss Brown


Tuesday 12 June 2012

Dancing, Alcohol, and Gambling

Much has happened since we last spoke. Too much. I'll do my best to explain it, but it will be lengthy. I'll try to write how I felt about it at the time, not how I feel about it now. The two are so very different.


Yesterday evening, Sky and I went to El Cafe Cubana. It was a wonderful place. Kind people, beautiful view, etc. Sky ordered me what he said was a milkshake. It was delicious, so I had another. And another. It must have been something stronger than a milkshake, because soon after, I lost myself.
A beautiful Cuban dancer left her partner and came over to our table. She asked Sky to dance, and he accepted. For some reason, I felt a surge of emotion. Jealousy took over, and I found myself dancing with the Cuban woman's partner. I suppose this was an attempt to make Sky jealous too. Of course, it failed. Next I did something sinful, and I beg the Lord for forgiveness. I slapped her. I hit the woman with whom Sky was dancing. She hit me back. We began to fight, causing the entire cafe to erupt into a chaotic frenzy. I don't know exactly how long I was fighting with this woman, but eventually Sky pulled me away to the beach.
It wasn't until after the effects of the alcohol wore off that I began to regret what I did, so I was still giddy with adrenaline. I did another mad thing. I kissed Sky. I kissed Sky Masterson. I don't know how, but one simple gesture opened up a whole new part of me that I never even knew existed! I had the time of my life. If I were a bell, I would have been ringing! Sky then suggested we go home. I didn't want to, so I protested, but he insisted. We got on the plane and headed back to New York.


When we arrived home, finally sober, it was four in the morning. We were walking down the street when we met a woman. She already knew Sky, and he introduced her as "Miss Adelaide". She had recently gotten engaged, and seemed very much in love.
I think this inspired Sky, because he started to change. He told me he loved being out at night, and this was "his time of day". He then said that I was the only doll he'd ever wanted to share it with him. I couldn't believe this was happening. He then shocked me even more. He told me his real name: Obediah. I knew then that I had fallen in love with him. I had never been in love before, but I felt the confidence to profess my feelings. After they had poured out, we kissed. It was a magical moment.Obviously, we had kissed before, but this was different.
Unfortunately, our moment was interrupted by Auntie and the girls. They asked me where I had been, but our conversation was short lived. A group of men ran out of the Mission, crying, "Canasta!" It was Nathan Detroit and his illegal, floating crap game, closely followed by Lieutenant Brannigan.
It was common knowledge that Mr. Detroit had been out of luck finding a venue for his crap game.  I then understood why Sky had taken me to Havana. Not because he had feelings for me, but so the gamblers could use our Mission for their game! How could he play with my feelings like this?

I knew it would be a risk to fall for Sky Masterson, of all men, but I never knew my heart could be broken like this. I don't know why I ever trusted a gambler. One thing is for certain, I won't make that mistake again. It's no good. When I told Sky that, he asked, "What the hell kind of doll are you, anyway?" 

Well, Sky, I'm a Mission doll.


Yours truly,
-Miss Brown

Monday 11 June 2012

Hola!

Greetings from Cuba! Our plane landed a few hours ago at the airport in Havana, and since then Sky and I have done quite a bit of sight-seeing. The architecture here is beautiful, and the history is fascinating. I particularly enjoyed visiting El Capitolio and seeing the cupola. Sky and I have already had our dinner, and the food was simply delightful! Everyone in Havana is very hospitable. I believe I've fallen in love with the culture! 


At the moment, Sky is calling for me to hurry, as he's been meaning to show me a nice cafe on the beach called "El Cafe Cubana", so I must be off!


Hasta luego,
-Senorita Brown

Sunday 10 June 2012

I Am Insane.

Today, as we were walking back to the Mission for lunch, Auntie, the girls and I were approached by none other than the Mission General! She told us that she had no time to join us, but she had an important announcement to share. I knew as soon as I saw her that she brought news with her, but at this point I began to worry. She turned to me and she said, "Sarah, I am afraid we must close this branch of the Mission down. Our efforts might be better served elsewhere." This information came as quite a shock to all of us. I know we could be doing better, but we are still trying! I tried to persuade her to let us continue for a few days, until after our prayer meeting, but she did not comply. Not until our favorite sinner arrived, anyway. 

Sky Masterson, for of course it was he, decided it would be best if he took the initiative. He told the General that he believed in what "Sergeant Sarah and her Mission" were doing, and that he believed we were "making a great deal of difference". He neglected to mention his history in gambling, however. Somehow, this seemed to entice the General a bit. She listened to every word as Mr. Masterson suggested she herself come to our midnight prayer meeting. He handed me a piece of paper behind her back as she thought about her answer. It read:


Sky Masterson
One dozen, genuine sinners.

Of course, it was his "marker", referring to his previous offer of providing twelve sinners for our prayer meeting, if I had dinner with him. In Havana. Cuba. At that moment, I was overcome with a surge of emotion. I don't know what it was. Perhaps hope at saving the mission.

 Anyway, before the General answered, I blurted, "General, I personally guarantee you one dozen, genuine sinners." I think I must be insane. However, she agreed to keep the Mission open until the meeting, and she also said she would come. This has put quite a lot of pressure on us to make the meeting worth while, but I can't concentrate on that now. The plane leaves at one thirty p.m. tomorrow afternoon!

I still can't believe I agreed to go to dinner in Cuba with a known gambler. The whole situation seems like a crazy, made-up story! I suppose it is for the good of the Mission, but my head is still reeling. I think I might actually be excited about leaving New York for the first time. In any case, I'm going, and it's too late to turn back now!

See you in Cuba,
 -Miss Brown

Saturday 9 June 2012

I Believe I Have a Stalker

Hello again! So sorry I haven't been writing lately. Auntie and the girls and I have been trying to find new ways to help God do His work. We've considered reaching out to the elderly people of our community, but no luck. We tried talking to children, but they did not listen. Our latest attempt has been to connect with the young women in our area. This, I imagine, will have more success than our other ideas. I believe that as I am close to their age, and I am just like them in some respects, I could relate to them, and help them see God's way.


"But Sarah!" you say, "What of that Sky Masterson you spoke of in your last entry?" I assure you, he is doing well. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for myself at times. The day after he come to our Mission, Calvina told me she noticed him standing in the crowd as we performed our latest speech. Subsequently, I noticed him at every other announcement I made. Soon, he also appeared when I was making my way home, when I stopped at the bakery, and when I shopped my favorite boutique. I felt like I couldn't avoid him. Everywhere I went, he was there. I only ever saw him for a fleeting moment, but he was there.
By Thursday, his appearances in my personal space had come to an end, but he had graduated to openly following the Mission band and myself when we were at work.  I tried to get him to discontinue his inappropriate and frankly unnerving behavior. Each time it has failed, but he can't pursue this cause forever, can he? I hope he cannot, for his sake, and mine.


Best wishes,
-Miss Brown

Monday 4 June 2012

Meet Mr. Masterson

The day has changed from "normal" to something I cannot describe. As it happens, my words do seem to have touched a sinner today. You may be thinking that this is a wonderful thing, as did I at first. But I assure you, it did not end as I had hoped.


A young man named Sky Masterson came to our mission this afternoon. He asked if we took sinners, and, of course, we took him in at once! He told us that his life was full of sin, as he was a gambler. He asked us to help him find the right path. We all believed him. He seemed ever so sincere. After a few minutes, Auntie and the girls left to continue our recruitment, but I stayed behind to talk to Mr. Masterson.


When we were alone, I gave him some helpful pamphlets and informed him about our midnight prayer meeting next Thursday, June thirteenth. He accepted the pamphlets and quickly said he would attend the meeting, but he seemed to be rushing to say something else. What he wanted to do was invite me to dinner. When I refused, he offered to repay the favor by making sure at least a dozen sinners came to our prayer meeting. He seemed to think no one would come otherwise, and secretly I agreed. His offer was tempting, so I asked where the restaurant was. His answer was, if can you believe it, Havana! Havana, Cuba! Sometimes I believe men are complete dogs. I am ashamed to say it, but I lost a bit of control on my temper. We argued about love and the perfect partner. However, when he started to describe the perfect love, he seemed sweet and charming. I was even considering going to Havana with him... until he kissed me. I was stunned at first, frozen in position, but then I regained my senses. How dare a man who had hardly made my acquaintance make such advances?  Once again I lost my temper. I slapped him. I feel he deserved it. But at the same moment, I feel ever so slightly that feeling of guilt. No matter, I just hope I mustn't see Sky Masterson again.

 Yours in Christ,
- Miss Brown

Our Best Efforts

Today was just the same as any other day here in New York, except today Auntie suggested we venture out into the more crowded, more sinful center of Broadway. We hoped to reach more gamblers there, but we had no such luck. I gave my best speech, but people seemed to have no interest. The day is not over, however, so I am still hopeful someone has heard our words and is ready to seek refuge from this jungle of sin! 

Pray I am right,
 -Miss Brown

Sunday 3 June 2012

Intro to Sarah

Hello everyone! I don't think I will be any good at this, but Auntie said it would keep me busy, so I'll try. I suppose I should start by introducing myself and my friends and family. My name is Sarah Brown and I am twenty-one years old. My mother died in childbirth and my father died of tuberculosis shortly thereafter. My mother's sister, Arvide, has been taking care of me ever since. She and I run a small Mission in New York close to Broadway. Recently we have been going to Broadway trying to recruit members. I will give you updates on our progress on resisting the Devil. Other members of our mission include Calvina, Agatha, and Martha, who form our own little marching band. I don't understand why anyone would be interested in my life, but for Auntie, I'll refresh your knowledge none the less!

Until the next time,
-Miss Brown